Please Use a Knife and Fork
by TheSexyPineapple
Summary: Jenny receives a letter that has her rather worried. Her parents want to see her, apparently she hadn't seen them in quite some time. Of course, Vastra has to go with her, she'd be lost without her maid guiding her through social protocols and, she was sure, it was customary to meet the object of your affection's parents. (Awful summary, sorry.)
1. Chapter 1

It would be easy. She wouldn't mind. Stop worrying. Ow- she'd bitten too far down her nail. Great.

She'd just go straight up to her and ask, dead easy. In theory.

"Are you alright in there?"

God dammit!

"Fine, ma'am!"

Sighing and picking up the tray of food Jenny left the kitchen and moved into the living room. She stared at the floor and was unusually quiet, a long way off of her usual chipper self.

"For the last time: what's the matter with you?" Vastra had been asking the question since she had been woken up.

"I got a letter..." She bit on her lower lip.

Vastra smirked. "Which one?"

"Hilarious. But seriously, I got a letter."

"And what did it say?"

Just say it, she won't mind, she won't even care. "My mum wants to see me..."

"Okay."

That was it? That was all she was going to get? 'Okay'? "You don't mind, do you?"

"Is there any particular reason why I would mind?"

"She might not approve of you... Dad probably wouldn't like you either, brother and sister wouldn't take too kindly to you."

Sighing, Vastra dug into her meal. "You don't have to take me with you, I can't exactly take you to visit my parents."

"No, no, I want to, I just know what you're like."

Vastra rolled her eyes. "I promise not to embarrass you or offend anyone, does that put you at ease?"

"You using a knife an' fork while we're there would."

"... Shut up."

Jenny took a deep breath and looked at the woman across from her. "D'you mind if we don't mention, um, us?" It was a horrible question to ask and she knew it.

"No, of course not. Why would I?" she said in her usual tone, even to Jenny she looked and sounded completely unaffected. Strangely enough it was that that made her feel worse, it made her feel like Vastra really didn't care. Then again, why would she?

"I'm going out later, don't stay up waiting for me."

"D'you want me to come with you?"

"Whether or not I want you to come doesn't matter."

Jenny crossed her arms and sat down, having eaten earlier she was left with nothing to do.

"Don't do that, you know I hate it when you do that," Vastra chastised without looking up.

In a wordless act of defiance she straightened her back and sat in a very maid-like position. Vastra had her words, Jenny had her cheek.

"Jenny," she said tersely, "that's even worse, though I think that may be the point."

"Truly, ma'am, you are the Great Detective."

"Hardly customary for a maid to be sarcastic."

"'Ardly customary for a lady to seduce 'er maid."

"So you admit I seduced you?"

"Would anyone fall so far for you if you didn't?"

"I like to think that's there's more to it than that," she said as she got up and threw on her robes. She looked to Jenny when she started struggling with her hood. The girl let her struggle for a moment before going to help her.

"When you said later I assumed that you really mean' _later_." Did Jenny sound upset? It was like when she was upset but not quite, something similar at least.

"It's later than when I initially said that I was going out," Vastra defended. Couldn't she let her go out? She didn't need to do everything with her. Apes. She knew she was being moody without much of a good reason, but, dammit, she was bloody upset! With every right, mind you. "I'll be back before morning." With that she left, not looking back at the miffed maid- not that she'd know that she was miffed because she didn't look at her, obviously.

For hours, not too many though, she roamed the streets of London. There really was no place like it.

During the time she spent out she thought, as she always did, about a lot of things. The main topic of the night, however, was how Jenny wanted to keep whatever they were from her family. Was she ashamed of her? That was certainly a possibility.

The more she thought the more upset she got. She eventually realised that she had no real legitimate reason to be upset. Would she introduce Jenny to her own family? Her sisters would probably be disgusted, ashamed even. To be offended would be hypocritical. It seemed, on this occasion, she was a hypocrite. Believe it or not: she wanted Jenny to be happy with their relationship, not shy away from it.

Without her knowledge she had ended up in a local park they semi-regularly visited. Jenny had dragged her there once when they were both particularly bored. Vastra smiled at the memory. Jenny had been complaining the entire day and eventually demanded that they go out. Vastra, of course, humoured the girl and allowed her to take her anywhere she wanted. Fortunately it was late enough to go out without attracting too much attention to themselves, it was nice. Jenny lead her to a park, the one she was currently in, by the hand. She smiled a lot that night.

They sat on a bench, the one that Vastra had somehow found herself sitting on, and talked. Just talked. If you were to ask her exactly what the had talked about she wouldn't be able to give you an answer. She vaguely recalled something about Jenny's parents taking her there. Suddenly she wasn't so at ease. What was important was that Jenny hadn't called her 'ma'am' once that night and it was time to just _be_. Most of the time there was some distance, even when they were together. It was like Jenny was always itching to do housework or get away while at the same time wanting to stay. Vastra didn't understand. If she didn't want to be around her then she could just go, she wasn't about to force her to be around her. Then again, Jenny was often affectionate without being prompted to be.

If humans were a mystery to her, what was Jenny? Ha- if she even tried to solve the puzzle that was her she'd just end up with at least a thousand new problems.

A couple of times a street urchin would give her a strange look, to which she'd nearly always hiss and scare the poor thing half to death. Jenny would hit her shoulder if she were there.

Eventually she dared to think about what was really making her upset: the prospect of meeting her maid's family.

She mentally made a list of all the things she knew about them; there were four of them, their surnames were Flint (probably), her parents had three children, Jenny was the eldest, and they weren't going to like her.

Hell, the entire venture was a mistake, she was sure of it.

Oh god... What if they convinced Jenny to leave? What if they made Jenny realise that Vastra was far from what's best for her? What if they made Jenny find someone else? She could handle the other two, she'd already thought about those things happening, it was that last one that made her sick to her stomach. Other people didn't know that she liked it when you lay down with your head on her lap, or when you let her lean against you with her head on your shoulder. Other people didn't know that the only way to calm her down when she was really upset was to whisper sweet nothings to her while rubbing small clockwise circles between her shoulderblades.

There was nobody worth Jenny's time. No man, nor woman, in Vastra's opinion, could come close to what Jenny deserved. Except maybe her. Possibly. Great, now she was doing that again. She always forgot that Jenny did have flaws, just as she did herself. She needed to stop thinking her above the others because, well, she couldn't have herself getting too attached and let herself down. Jenny was too caring, too considerate, kind to a fault. She was also too patient. Vastra, even with her years on the surface without Jenny, didn't really know humans and humanity all that well, yet Jenny still did her best to help with little sincere complaint.

God, London stank. She thought that she'd gotten used to the smog and filth of it. Her people would never have done this. Vastra's scales were at least two shades darker than they should have been thanks to the dirt and grime she was exposed to- perhaps that was why Jenny worked so hard to keep the house clean... no, that was unlikely. Though she did often comment after she bathed. She hadn't even seen her after she'd shed- she might have a heart attack if she walked in to see bits of skin hanging off of her.

Jenny was probably getting worried. She just knew that she'd keep herself up, it was sweet actually. When she'd get home Jenny would be there, half asleep in her chair feebly trying to keep a cup of tea warm. Vastra would creep in and try not to disturb her, when that didn't work Jenny would crane her neck and smile at her, she'd ask her how her outing was, Vastra would only shush her and make her go to bed. In the morning Jenny would wake up long before Vastra, only disturbing her when she felt it was time for her to eat.

She made her way home, where all the things outlined above would happen.

It wasn't a terribly long walk home, she didn't bother with back alleys- maybe she should have been more careful. Alas, she was much too fixated on getting home and into a warm bed. Maybe she'd make a drink.

She was at the door when she fumbled for her key. She forgot her key. Moron. She never forgot her key. Vastra wasn't stupid enough to forget her key.

The last thing she wanted to do was annoy her maid, who, upon thinking about it, may already have been irked by her leaving. She grimaced as she knocked on the hard wood of the door. It took a minute or two before she heard muffled footsteps and then the latch being unlocked.

"I told you not to stay up," she said gently upon noticing how tired Jenny looked.

She undid her hair, finally not having to keep it up for worrying that a caller who was not Vastra would come to the door. "Go to bed."

"Yes ma'am," she teased, earning her a look that quite clearly displayed that she wasn't in the mood.

Vastra slunk past Jenny, looking very disappointed, was she pouting? She was pouting. "Aren't you coming?"

Jenny felt her eyes roll without her even intending to do. "I'm right behind you."

"How are you?"

"Fine. Dear."

"You don't sound fine."

The girl gritted her teeth. Everything Vastra was doing at that time was getting to her, be it just the way she walked or the very fact that she was talking. "I'm tired."

Vastra didn't comment. Instead she walked to their room with the occasional (regular) glance to see if Jenny was still sulking. Lo and behold, she was sulking.

"You really shouldn't have kept yourself up," she said when the entered their room, after noticing how drawn the human was to the bed.

She shrugged and changed into her bed clothes without so much as a glance. "I was worried."

"Jenny..."

"I don't wanna hear it." The girl ungracefully clambered into bed with her back to the lizard.

Vastra sighed as she too got changed. She was quickly rebuffed when she habitually put her arm around the smaller of them. Jenny was warm and now she was being denied that. Maybe she should just die to prove a point. Death by lack of cuddling, that wasn't the way she expected to die.

She took a mental step back. She was technically millions of years old, she could handle one hu- ape. Ape. Being upset with her, even if it was without good reason.

* * *

A/N- Wow, new fic, yay. Thanks to my beta readers, I owe you.

Also, this is pretty much unrelated to my previous fics.


	2. Chapter 2

The following morning, much to her surprise, Jenny was still sound asleep and had, at some point, rolled over, making her seem much less antisocial.

Briefly she considered waking the normally early rising maid, but if she had slept in it was because she needed the rest. It would be mean to make her wake up. She deserved a lie-in.

With a contented sigh, Vastra gingerly put one long green arm around the small form of her maid, thankful that she didn't reject her again, quite the opposite- probably because she wasn't conscious. It always got to her when she was annoyed with her, especially when she didn't do anything wrong. On this occasion she knew why she was annoyed, she didn't want her to stay out so late, let alone go out at all. Clingy could have been used to describe her, but, Vastra knew, she was not. She was just, well, at the time she needed Vastra there to reassure her that the meeting with her family wasn't going to go horribly, horribly, wrong, when they both knew at least something bad would happen.

Vastra's thoughts were interrupted by Jenny, apparently the decision to shift into a slightly more comfortable position. "Why am I still in bed?" she asked. If Vastra was awake before her it usually meant she'd lost most of the day.

"I thought you deserved a rest." She gently bumped her forehead against Jenny's, testing her mood. Vastra supposed it was a positive that she subconsciously moved closer and made no effort to remove the scaly limb.

"Deserve a bleedin' 'oliday," she muttered. She never let Vastra give her time off, she would just get bored. She saw how bored Vastra could get, she even got so bored one day that she actively engaged her housemaid in conversation.

"You know very well that I'd give you as much time off as you wanted."

Jenny grunted. Very attractive. Then she rolled over so Vastra was facing her back again, but she didn't remove her arm. Progress, definite progress.

"Do you think they'd like me? Hypothetically speaking, if I was human?"

"And a man." Was that a dash of bitterness in her tone?

That was something that never ceased to amaze and anger Vastra. Why should it matter if two people were the same gender? Her own family never seemed to bat an eye at her previous relationships.

"That too."

"I don't know, I prob'ly wouldn'," she answered, still with her back to her.

Vastra laughed quietly. "Luckily for me I'm not one of your human males."

"I wrote back while you were out. Told 'em you're coming with me, 'cause you can't take care of yourself." Any other time that may have been a gentle chide or just another way to tease her, but really she was just giving Vastra information on the character she was going to have to play.

"Jenny, dear?"

"Yes ma'am?"

In that moment Vastra was glad Jenny wasn't looking at her, for she knew her maid hated it when she rolled her eyes.

"I'm sorry for making you worry."

"I'm sorry for worrying."

"It's endearing."

"It's pointless."

Jenny felt the arm around her tug her backwards, not with so much strength that it would force her closer, leaving her the opportunity to refuse. Needless to say the quiet mumbling of "cold" as an explanation for such a gesture was enough to encourage her to act as Vastra's own personal heater.

"Not pointless. I worry about you."

"And where does me worrying get us? I could've been up hours ago and most of the 'ousework would've been done."

"I'm not sure that it will ever occur to you that, for a while now, you needn't do all that work."

Jenny shrugged.

"I'm sure your family will be thrilled to see you, if that's what you're so worked up about," she tried to reassure, though she knew her concerns were grounded.

"They're gonna be ashamed of me..."

"I thought we agreed not to say anything?"

"Not about that, ma'am."

Vastra held her as tighter and pressed her face to her neck. "Jenny, Jenny, Jenny, my sweet Jenny." She decided a sad Jenny was infinitely worse than an angry Jenny. "It's alright," she was lying and they both knew it, but that wasn't the point. "I'm here, you've got me, my dear."

"Don't leave me alone again tonight, please."

With a bit of gentle encouragement Jenny eventually rolled so she was facing her lady. Her head was buried in the crook of the reptile's neck and she'd grabbed handfulls of the back of Vastra's nightdress while she cooed and stroked her hair, making whispered promises of safety and the like.

"I don't want to lie about you either."

"I don't want to hide, but I have to, you must understand dear, people can't know about us. It isn't fair but that's how it works."

The Silurian looked at the girl, still a small bit upset with her, sad and confused, even a little scared, curled up next to her, making her look even smaller than she was. If she wanted to she could have them stay like that for the entire day, catching up on some well deserved rest, but she wasn't going to do that. Instead she snaked her way out of Jenny's grip and pulled the blanket's up and around the girl's form.

"I'll just be downstairs, dear, I'll be back before you know it," she said when a confused look was cast at her.

Half an hour, it took, half an hour. Half an hour before Vastra, wearing a sheepish grin and carrying a tray of better-than-poorly-made food, arrived back in the bedroom. She was proud of her efforts, especially since she didn't ever cook. After her third attempt she had managed to make a fried egg that she deemed edible. There was even a side of buttered toast of varying toastyness. She had even prepared a pot of tea to share.

The arrival had destroyed all plans of Jenny being even mildly upset with Vastra. "Oh, ma'am."

Suddenly the lizard felt very self conscious. "Did I do something wrong? I thought that you were supposed to make someone you care about breakfast when the didn't feel well- or is it exclusively for when they're ill? Oh my goodness, I've done this all wrong haven't I?"

Jenny, with tired and slightly damp eyes, sat up, managing to keep the blankets around her, and smiled at the tray and the the woman holding it.

Carefully Vastra placed the tray on Jenny's lap and the pot at on her bedside table. "You make it look so easy, I didn't think it would take so long," she said and sat next to her on the bed and leaning against the headboard.

"That's 'cause it is easy, ma'am."

"Clearly not."

Jenny only smiled and lifted herself up enough so that she could eat comfortably. Her egg was underdone and her toast was either left as bread or could have been mistaken for charcoal. It was probably the best meal she'd ever eaten.

"Much better," she said when Jenny finally seemed to look genuinely happier.

"Thank you, Vastra."

* * *

A/N- Short chapter is short and I am sorry for that.


	3. Chapter 3

About a week later Vastra found Jenny in her old room hurriedly packing and unpacking a bag, hair out of place and clothes strewn about the hard wooden floor.

"The last time I saw you like this I'm relatively sure you weren't dressed."

"Oh shut up!" she snapped, now blushing furiously. "If you're going to insist on staying in here then do me me a favour and help me pack."

Vastra joined her on the floor, neatly folding clothes and placing them in Jenny's bag and taking out things that she didn't deem necessary. Two scarves, a few jumpers, a thick blanket, how did she even fit all that into the bag?

"Ma'am!" She snatched the items from her and stuffed them messily back into the bag. "I wouldn' 'ave packed them if I didn' need to!"

The lizard held her hands up in surrender, clearly Jenny was stressed and Vastra knew well not to agitate her. "Honestly Jenny, why in the world would you need all that? We won't be there long enough to warrant them. Will we?"

"My family don' live like us. Much more... erm... we didn' 'ave much money when I was growin' up, most nights were cold." Vastra stifled a smile as her maid spoke, it was funny, to her, when her accent flared up.

"Oh." Oh indeed. Jenny was faced with seeing the family she had been too scared to visit for the past few months and the first thing on her mind was how to keep Vastra warm. "Thank you, Jenny."

"Just part o' my job, ma'am."

"You know I hate it when you say that."

"'Ow could I forget?"

"I missed you at breakfast," she said, changing the subject, "I thought, perhaps, you'd stopped caring for my company."

"Of course, that is clearly the case. Really, ma'am, if I wanted to break your 'eart I'd do it in a better way than just ignorin' you. 'Onestly, I thought you knew me better than that."

"Ah, you wound me, my dear, though I always did have a feeling you were only using me. You and your callous ways will certainly be the death of me."

"All part of my nefarious plot. Have you finished packing yet?"

"I have, actually." It was a silly thing to be proud of, she was proud anyway. With her being so poor at the mundane things humanity thought little of she felt every right to have a little pride.

Jenny screamed and heard snickering when she felt a hard poke at the side of her stomach. Vastra always did that. Normal people would just try to get their attention if they looked tense, instead Vastra took advantage of the girl's skittish nature.

"That wasn't really necessary."

"Dear me, have I enraged the soft human girl?"

"Clearly."

Jenny stood up, dusted herself off, and offered her hand to Vastra as a means of getting up. Her hand was taken and Vastra briefly considered using it to get a kiss from her, apparently her thoughts were too slow as Jenny had already done what she had planned to do before the thought was even complete.

"I believe I may have to enrage you more often."

"You don't need to try."

"But imagine what I could do if I did."

"The thought frightens me."

"About time you started to fear me."

"Don't pretend you want me to."

"It's cute that you think you could."

Jenny rolled her eyes but didn't bother hiding her smile as she left the room to repack Madame's bags.

Vastra, for the most part, left her alone for the majority of the day. Both were worried and for very valid reasons. For Jenny it meant seeing the family she had been distant from for a long time, only made worse by taking Vastra with her. It would have been easy to go alone, she didn't even have to worry about Vastra being upset, she was certain that she wouldn't bat an eye at her visiting her parents without her- it was probably one of the few exceptions to her rule of accompaniment. She wasn't sure why she wanted her to go with her, she just felt happier when she was around. For Vastra it was the meeting of the object of her affection's parents, even for human males that was rarely a positive prospect. What was she supposed to say to them? 'Oh, hello, pleasure to meet you. I'm the sapient reptile your daughter is sleeping with, perhaps you've heard of me? Ah yes, I'm also a woman- oops.' No, no, that was ridiculous. 'My time travelling friend and I saved your daughters life a couple of years ago and now we may or may not have a mutual affection.' That was better, better by far, but she knew, as they had previously agreed, that for the duration of their stay they would be strictly professional.

In retrospect the pair probably should have packed sooner, only a fool prepared one day prior. Jenny never denied that she was a fool though.

"Ma'am?"

Vastra looked up from the extensive paperwork on her lap and dropped her ink. "Goodness Jenny, do try to knock."

"I did, dear."

"We'll you should have knocked louder."

"I was at the door for a good five minutes, ma'am."

"That only further cements the fact that you should have been louder."

"Steady on, dear."

"Pardon me?"

"Nothing." Jenny moved into the room properly and allowed her posture to break. "I told Parker that we'll need 'im to take us to my parents tomorrow. I thought it was 'bout time I made it clear what you can and can't do."

"I don't need to be babied."

Still leaning against the wall she ignored her. "Don't directly insult them-"

"But I _can_ insult them?"

"Don't call anyone 'primitive' or an ape. Or 'filthy human'," she added as an afterthought.

Vastra stared at Jenny, waiting to continue. She was curious as to what rules she was expected to adhere to and just how confined she was going to have to be for the duration. Mostly she was trying to find loopholes.

"And you can't tell them that you're you, as in, the Great Detective."

"Oh come on!" She was genuinely quite annoyed by that. If she told them who she was and what they had done then maybe the visit might not have been as boring as it could have been. Instead she was being made to pretend that she was just a simple widow who had come into money and relied on her housemaid more than she should have. It was insulting. "Or, and this is just a suggestion, we could tell them the truth."

"Don't be stupid ma'am, it don't- doesn't suit you." Jenny hoped, prayed- she hadn't done that in a while- that she was just joking, she must have known why they couldn't do that. Things weren't that simple. Her family would turn against her, the church and its regulars would curse her name, everyone she cared about would be judged for her sins. Vastra never understood why they would be considered sinners, aside from the murders they had committed, it wasn't pleasant for Jenny to explain.

"Jenny, much as I enjoy your company, it is infinitely better when you aren't giving me instructions on how to behave." Much as she sounded like a petulant child, albeit one with quite the vocabulary, the maid had to admit that she did have a point.

"I know, just do this for me, please?"

"For you."

* * *

A/N- Another short chapter, the next should be longer.


	4. Chapter 4

'This is for Jenny.' She reminded herself over and over again throughout the journey to Jenny's parents that could never have been too long.

The couple were practically clinging to each other, getting the most out of the company of each other as they knew time together would become sparse. As they got closer and closer Vastra felt a slight tremble overcome Jenny, her response to which was to hold her tighter.

"I'm gonna tell 'em. They won't care. We'll walk right on in and-"

Jenny felt Vastra's finger press to her lips to silence her. "If anything you have told me is true, then you know that is not the case."

"Calm yourself, my dear. You missed your family, I understand."

Vastra kept her finger where it was for a time before Jenny's head bowed slightly, only to have a usually-gloved hand tip her chin back up.

"I, ma'am, I- I'm so sorry ma'am." Vastra's hand moved to her neck before she began talking again. "I sent the letter to my mum first, I didn' want to never see 'em again."

"I know," she said simply. Not angry or upset, she was perfectly calm and accepted that Jenny couldn't escape from humanity and its ways. "Again, I understand."

"I'm sorry," she repeated. Sighing, Jenny ran her fingers over the sensitive crests on her lady's head to pacify her just in case she had lied and really was upset. "If you were a man you'd be perfect for me."

"And that," she tapped her human's nose, "is painfully untrue."

"Your hands are cold."

She removed her hand, fearing she was bothering her, only to have it grasped along with the other. "I'm sorry, my dear."

Jenny smiled at her, at her apology. "Don't you worry, you can't 'elp it."

She kissed her.

"I'm going to miss that."

"Me too."

The carriage jerked to a halt and the two very nearly fell, of course they laughed, they felt they needed a reason to.

Parker rapped at the door. "You two ladies ready?"

That had taken far less time than they would have liked.

Jenny took a moment before answering, fumbling to put a pair of glove's on her employer's hands. "As we can be."

A chuckle could be heard from the outside of the door.

"I go' the impression ma'am."

Vastra donned her veil once more, from the cover of which she was able to glare at the small house Jenny seemed to look at whistfully, then exited the small carriage with Jenny clinging to her arm.

"Thanks Parker, we owe you."

"Never a problem Miss Flint, i's my pleasure, jus' take good care of 'er for me, okay?"

Jenny smiled and nodded. She rather liked Parker. He didn't care about what went on between the two of them, that may have been due to the fact that he wasn't a moron or that they had just happened to meet him under circumstances that involved him being held at knife point. Either or.

"I should have asked this earlier, so I apologise for the rather belated question, are we going to be able to share a room?" she asked as they approached what she could only assume was Jenny's family's home. She didn't like the look of it. It was dark and dingy and smaller than their own. Jenny deserved better than that.

"Brother and sister would've moved ou' by now, so I can say tha' you need the privacy because of your scarring. You have severe scarring, by the way."

"Yes, I believe that would be a suitable lie. People normally assume I hide out of shame of my appearance."

"Jenny, hypothetically speaking, would your family like me if they weren't aware of our entirely unprofessional relationship and if I were human?"

"Ma'am, please stop, you don't 'ave to impress anyone."

"I'd kiss you but what I believe to be your mother is looking at us. We'll tell them I need help getting around," she said, subtly nodding to Jenny's hand on her arm.

Jenny gave her arm arm an affectionate and gentle squeeze. She urged Vastra to put some of her weight on her to make the illusion complete. "Come along ma'am, this way please."

"Oh, thank you Miss Flint, such a good girl. Worth every penny. Oh, and so warm too."

"Careful Madame, people will start to talk if you go 'round sayin' things like that."

Jenny was blushing, it was terribly sweet when she did that. Vastra always claimed she liked it because her skin was warmer when really found her rosie cheeks quite the appealing sight. Only if she made her blush though, nobody else was allowed that privilege.

"Perish the thought."

The anxious maid knocked on her parents' door. Vastra was sure her hand became filthy from the action.

"Breathe, my dear," she muttered when the grip on her arm tightened.

"Jenny! We were wonderin' when you'd ge' 'ere!" a woman who slightly resembled Jenny announced upon opening the door. Vastra didn't like her. She vaguely recalled something about how in-laws were always the worst.

"Sorry mum." Something told her Jenny was very used to saying that. "This is my... I mean I'm her-"

"Jenny is my maid," Vastra interjected helpfully. "She's the best I've ever had," she added, fully aware of the implications. Maybe the weekend was going to be a fun one after all.

"This is Madame Vastra, the one I wrote to you about." Jenny was blushing again, though she could't glare at Vastra or do anything she normally would have. The sly old lizard. "She's going a bit deaf in 'er old age, you 'ave to really speak up when talkin' to 'er." It was times like this when Vastra had very conflicting emotions. She was proud of Jenny for being as clever as she was, now she'd be forced to experience her family raising their voices when they wanted to speak to her, on the other hand she was annoyed, how could she think it could possibly be a good idea to do that? Too bad she now couldn't object.

"Well, Madame Vastra, welcome to our 'ome," Jenny's mother greeted loudly, much to Vastra's annoyance, surely Jenny was already regretting the decision.

"Yes, thank you, how... lovely. Parker will arrive with our bags later." Already she regretted coming. She'd get very little time with Jenny, almost no time to be herself, she didn't want this. At least she'd get some reprieve when Parker came back.

Jenny, already, was also looking forward to the break and they hadn't even gotten inside yet!

With faux-joy Jenny lead her lady into the building that was once her home. 13 Pasternoster Row, she decided, was much better. "Welcome to the Flint residence, ma'am. Not as fancy as what you're used to, I know, but us little people gotta make do."

"What are you doing with your voice? I've never heard your accent like this," she asked, quietly enough for only Jenny to hear.

"Family expects it, I promise I'll talk normally later," she muttered back.

"It's... quaint," she said, but Jenny didn't hear. Her gaze was too fixed on a man who also looked a bit like her, she'd also tensed up. "Jenny?"

"Ma'am, this is my dad."

"A pleasure," she said tersely, getting the impression that Jenny didn't particularly like him, and if Jenny didn't like someone Vastra didn't often like them either.

"Madame and I need a separate room. We'll take the old kid's room." Jenny left no room for argument, something that made Vastra smirk, she would have to congratulate her later.

The man grunted in response, Jenny couldn't have really been the product of that, could she?

Her maid pulled her upstairs into the small room, it wasn't the worst accommodation she'd ever had but it could have been far better. "Ma'am, don't want to worry you, I should've told you sooner, thought I could 'andle it myself, I'm really sorry. I didn't even think 'e'd be 'ere."

"Jenny, darling, take a breath, arrange your thoughts, then talk to me."

She did as she was told and smoothed out imaginary creases in Vastra's dress. "Sorry. Sorry, ma'am. It's just-" she paused when she felt Vastra's head lean down on her own, the scratchy material of the veil felt strange, "my dad. I think you're gonna 'ave to thank 'im for us meetin'."

Vastra involuntarily hissed, making Jenny jump back a bit. She wouldn't deny that she was the protective sort, even as her maid she'd fret and be unable to remain in one place when Jenny was out. The lizard just very much disliked anyone messing with what was hers. Her pupils were contracted and she looked most displeased.

"Ma'am, no, please don't get angry, 'e can't 'elp it. He isn't all bad..."

"Be quiet Jenny. By saying you're not upset or angry with him you aren't being brave or noble or anything of the sort. Now, Jenny, for once I'm not listening you, he, in my book, is a criminal, one that has done me a personal wrong. You know how I get when that happens."

"Vastra," she said in a manner that suggested that she was not, in fact, just a maid. "When we go back downstairs we are going to be pleasant, polite, and ordinary. Have I made myself clear?"

"Yes Jenny. Now could you repeat that in the exact the same way?"

"Why?"

"I think I may like it when you act like you're in charge and I want to check."

"Vastra! You're disgusting. Is now really the time for that?" Jenny, much to her credit, didn't blush nearly as much as she had expected to.

With a roll of eyes and an unseen smirk they left the cramped room, Vastra's ego didn't help make the room feel any larger. Jenny never did like to admit that she may have enjoyed trying to counter her attitude.

"Wait." Jenny stopped dead in her tracks and found herself being pulled back into the room. "I know what you did, clever thing. I'm still going to give your father hell to pay, you do realise this, don't you?"

"Please ma'am, just forget about it. This weekend is gonna be 'ard enough without you tryin' to stick a sword down 'is throat."

"Come now, don't give me ideas."

"Ma'am, 'e's my dad, and you're gonna make me let you do something, I know it. Don't tempt me."

"What's our entire relationship without a bit of temptation, hmm?"

"Don't tease, else I'll arrange to stay for longer."

* * *

A/N- Took longer than I planned to do this one, ah well.


	5. Chapter 5

After their sort-of argument that wasn't really an argument at all they returned downstairs.

"Yer mum's gone ou'," Jenny's father said when they came back. Vastra really didn't like him. He stank and the air around him tasted vile. It was not pleasant.

"I can see that, Dad."

Vastra felt Jenny's hostility and, out of sheer habit, moved to hold her hand to calm her, fortunately she stopped herself, but not before Jenny could glanced up at her somewhat sadly. They were both so used to being able to lean on each other should they so need to.

"'Ey! Don' be cheeky with yer father."

"Yes Dad, sorry Dad."

Vastra surreptitiously looked from Jenny to her father. Jenny was, despite her youth, a grown woman by human standards who'd long since left the care of her parents. Jenny had been in her care for many years and she was never so submissive towards her, she ought to have been really, lizard woman killing and eating criminals, one never usually found themselves attached to something like her. Something wasn't right.

"Has Jenny told you about her impeccable record since she started working for me?" Vastra asked, hoping to alleviate some of the tension in the room. "She's very good, smart, has a slight tendency to distract any men who may pay a visit, however. Almost completely unaware of them, it's-" Vastra found herself cut off by a sharp elbow coming into contact with her ribs from her, now scarlet-faced, maid. Her father scoffed and muttered something about, Vastra assumed, stray cats. From the face Jenny made it annoyed her. She didn't really understand.

"I'm not so oblivious, ma'am."

"That hurt."

"Sorry, you just needed to shut up."

"I prefer it when you let less painful actions silence me," she whispered with a wicked grin. Jenny couldn't see but she knew her well enough to know exactly what expression she was pulling.

Again she felt the familiar sharp elbow hit her ribs. If it didn't hurt and she weren't so concerned for her she might've come to the realisation that she was very familiar with her human. Very familiar. Without seeming crude she knew her body well, even before she had managed to bed her, she'd spent more time than she'd realised watching and looking at her. Who could blame her? It was a sight for her to see, a human taking pride and she'd dare say joy in her work for a Silurian.

So Jenny did notice the none too subtle glances they'd give her. Funny, she never reacted, even before they moved into Pasternoster Row. She wondered if it had anything to do with her odd adolescence, living with a lizard for a good few years. The two of them had come a long way from their humble beginnings. Vastra leaving that wretched freak show and Jenny being taken in by the widow who killed the Tongs. Unbeknownst to Vastra was the reason such a young ape had been out at that late hour. Later she had learnt that she was visiting home after being given a short break from her first job as a maid, it had appalled her to think that humans would employ their young to scurry after them cleaning up their messes, it made her feel quite the hypocrite when she took in the girl under the pretence that she be her maid, she was only trying to prevent the rousing of suspicions. She never did visit them when she had planned. Vastra had permitted her to come and go as long as she knew the exact route she took, how long she thought she'd be, and that she promised to be careful. And that was before she even considered her a friend. The visits eventually became fewer and further between and then stopping all together, Vastra never questioned it, assuming that it was a normal stage in human development. What was strange to her was that Jenny, after a few years of no contact with her family, suddenly wanted to see them again.

The veiled reptile didn't know whether or not to feel jealous over the fact that she'd paid attention to the men that eyes her. It was good that Jenny could observe but look as if she was completely oblivious but it worried her that she never mentioned it- what if she was interested in them? Or worse: she was no longer interested in Vastra? She knew those two situations were unlikely, if the journey there and her need to be coddled for the entirety of it (which she was not opposed to) was anything to go by.

Jenny had started talking again, she really needed to learn to listen when she was so deep in thought, it wasn't beneficial to a detective. Madame Vastra, the Great Detective. She doubted she'd ever stop liking that title.

"-you expect me to cook?!" her expression changed into something Vastra was too unfamiliar with to identify when she realised that she had raised her voice. "Okay, I'll make somethin'."

Vastra followed the downtrodden girl to the 'kitchen' like a puppy. The environment was unfamiliar and she didn't know what else to do. Jenny wouldn't lead her into anything bad, it was Jenny. Jenny looked out for her as much as she looked out for Jenny.

"You didn't 'ave to follow me, ma'am."

"Would you prefer me to go back?"

"Oh god, please no."

"I want to go home."

"I know ma'am. Coming here was a mistake."

"If you say that then you're only giving me a reason to leave, whether you come or not I do not know."

"Shut up, dear."

"Make me, darling."

So she stepped on her foot, earning a glare and a displeased hissing sound. "I do sometimes forget how violent you 'people' are."

"Still talking."

Vastra sighed and gently squeezed her shoulder. "He's why you were with the Tongs," she said matter-of-factly, ignoring the sad noise her mate made. "And your mother doesn't know. My guess is that he hadn't expected you to come back, perhaps he was going to claim that you were kidnapped, never to be found again. However, thanks to myself and a friend, you were relatively unharmed. Tell me, how surprised was he when you went back for the first time since we met?"

"You're still talking." Jenny, at some point during the half-ramble half-deduction, had placed her own hand over the one on her shoulder and was now pushing it off. "Ma'am, I don' want to talk abou' it."

"Either way, I hate your father. Am I adhering to your social norms yet?"

Jenny smiled softly, letting Vastra be. It wasn't proper for her to be in the kitchen but neither particularly wanted her to be left alone with him.

"Don't bother making anything for me. I'm not hungry. I'll buy you something better to eat later, so not to rouse suspicion."

Sometimes she forgot how much Vastra cared for her, even little things like making sure she was never hungry. Still, she wasn't sure if being surprised by an act of genuine kindness, dare she say love, was a good thing. Vastra had even said she shouldn't be so taken aback by someone doing something nice for her. "You needn't do tha'."

"You know you can't stop me. I'd much prefer it if you were properly fed, I can't have you go back to the malnourished child I used to know."

"While I'm touched that you care so much you don't need to, really."

"Sweets aren't nutritional."

"How do you- you went through my bags."

"Jenny, my sweet, we Silurians, as you should know, have keen senses."

"So you just sniff out whatever I pack?"

"Basically."

"Remind me why I put up with you."

Vastra gasped, maybe a little louder than she intended to. "We're at your parent's house, do you humans really have such little restraint?"

"I quit."

"You're fired."

* * *

A/N- This took ages... thinking of maybe putting this fic on hiatus...


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